How to Be A Coach

Our season wrapped up last Saturday with a near upset of the #1 team in the nation.  Our boys played their best game of the year and we’re done in by a horrible pass interference penalty on the last drive that set up the game winning field goal for the opposing team.  We had the ball with one minute left on 4th & 2 and couldn’t convert and they took over.  Losing sucks balls, but this loss was the best loss I’ve ever had if you can even say that.  I am a competitor to my core.  This loss was one with dignity and one with no regrets.  Yea we we’re done wrong by the call, but everything we did on our end was done to the best of our abilities and we held our heads high.

After every season I’ve coached (only 5 so far) I sit down and evaluate the year and try to decompress.  It’s never been that hard because it’s always been as a part-time coach at a high school, but because I’m so type-A I feel the need to do so.  This year was better and harder than any ever.  Partly because coaching is the path I am pursuing.  This is what I want to do for the next season of my life.  No pun intended.  This year was great in that I got to work with a group of kids and watch them grow as players and as men.  As a 6’4″ white guy with red hair I felt I was able to connect well with 13 black kids and 2 Polynesians.  Sounds funny but its true.

It was challenging because I knew in my core I could do more to help us win if I was given the chance and extra responsibility.  I’m not complaining, that’s just my belief in myself as a coach and competitor.  It’s also a testament to junior college football.  These kids are all here for a reason, most of them not good.  It is controlled chaos and for someone who likes to be organized and prepared it was a constant battle.  Nevertheless I was able to find my way and work through the madness of both the kids and the culture.

Now that the season is over the challenges are many.  We don’t know who our next head coach will be.  Will we be retained if someone new comes in?  Will someone on our staff get the job?  In a perfect world I will have an opportunity to move on to the D1 level.  We don’t live in a perfect world.  I am still going to try to connect with as many coaches as I know and hopefully the Lord opens a door.  Who knows?  I do know this…There’s a lot the Lord taught me about how to be a coach and that has absolutely nothing to do with X’s and O’s.

We we’re sitting in our life group last night with a small group of individuals and couples.  It was my first time because of the season.  I sat there and listened to people share about the “lows” in their lives and how the Lord moves and speaks in those “lows”.  (The conversation is always a continuation of the sermon the previous Sunday.)  The season only ended a few days ago and it hit me pretty hard that I didn’t know where I was.  I didn’t know if I was in a high or a low.  I didn’t even know where I stood with the Lord.  I sat there in shock and realized how poor of a job I over the past 6 months really of having balance in my life.  When I worked in ministry you never wanted to compartmentalize your life because your job is your life 24-7.  Its ministry.  Now as a coach, I feel like I have to compartmentalize my life because when I come home I want to be HOME.  I want to sit with my wife and talk about her and her day.  I didn’t do a horrible job of that but I certainly didn’t do a great job.  I was humbled and ashamed at that fact and the fact that I didn’t know where I stood with the Lord.  I know full well that I will never not have the love of the Lord, but it had been so long since I had even been intentional about being with Him and walking in His word and resting in Him.  I was almost reduced to tears because it was something I had never known.

I had tunnel vision for the last six months.  I was fully aware of what was going on around me, but if it wasn’t right in front of me I wouldn’t engage in it.  I didn’t feel the Lord convicting me.  I felt His hands around me telling me to rest.  I don’t need physical rest or mental rest.  I could go another 3-4 months no problem.  I need spiritual rest and restoration.  I need to restore balance to my life with my Father and with everyone else around me.  I need balance with HOW  I spend time with my wife.  I need to do a better job of having my faith pour out of every part of my life, not just be a part of me.  As a coach I needed to interact with the Lord more as a coach both for myself and on behalf of my players.  Especially when I’m trying to move up in this career and find open doors.  I have to compartmentalize my life.  When I’m at home I’m at HOME.  Football cannot consume my mind.  When I am at football and home I must acknowledge the Lord and rest in His presence.

I sat there last night thankful for the Lord speaking to me and in a weird way allowing me to rest in the knowledge that I didn’t know where I stood.  I was and am thankful for the lesson learned in how to be a coach.  Lord help me to be a great one in EVERY way.